I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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