You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
