and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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