We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
