he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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