In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
