As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
