one might say we're banned from that church
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
two words: eviction party
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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