My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
