kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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