I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Randomize
