so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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