Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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