"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
