its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
