So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
