They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
