So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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