Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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