the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
