Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
please come you make the beer taste better
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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