whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
