Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
