Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
ttyl tear gas
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
