Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
