I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
