bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
