I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
