I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
