Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
They are going to name an STD after you.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
