we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
