Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
