I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
