Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
