No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
