did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
