Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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