we're chasing vodka with high fives
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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