I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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