I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
