On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
porn star boner night. come get it.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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