So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
