I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
