omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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