If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
And then my night got REAL pukey
Randomize
