I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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