Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
it was like eating out sand paper
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
