I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
