I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
