He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
