Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
