well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
